Post by Doc on Feb 8, 2002 0:14:32 GMT -5
3000 Miles to Graceland: (2&1/2 of 5 stars)
Reviewed by Doc
Viva Las Vegas! Thangyouverymuch!
I’m wondering if Kurt Russell and Kevin Costner walked away from the set of this movie each day knowing they were starring in a 2-star movie. Not that it’s a bad movie, but it is a bad movie – in a good way. Just turn down your bullshit detector early on, suspend that disbelief, and have fun in that pulpy, Hollywood, high-paid B-movie sort of way. I dunno what I was thinking though, hoping for something more serious from 3000 Miles to Graceland. I mean, this IS a movie about several guys dressed as Elvis robbing a Las Vegas Casino and getting away with it long enough to have an action story. Still, I know Costner’s career could do with the infusion, and several other people seem to be returning from the grave in this flick too.
Quick lowdown on the story; Kurt’s meeting his buddies, including Kevin Costner, Christian Slater and David Arquette, at a roach motel in Nevada for some unknown reason. During his stay he meets Cortney Cox and her thieving son. They screw (Cortney and Kurt only, the son being too busy ripping off Kurt’s wallet), and he admits he’s been in prison. Turns out the five total buds meeting up are there for a heist, and they soon knock down the vault of a Vegas Casino – and about 50 of its guards (they just keep popping up like a slot machine jackpot). After the heist, more people die, and Costner tries to make off with the money to the launderers alone. But Kurt’s not dead, Cortney’s not leaving, her son’s still stealing, and the money keeps changing hands. Along the way we find out Kurt Russell’s got a heart of gold, Kevin Costner’s a murdering bastard, and they’re both the possible illegitimate children of the King himself, Elvis Aaron Presley.
It's unfortunate, though, that the director, a Demian Lichtenstein, felt so self-indulgent as to waste our time and patience as viewers by showing off his obvious “wealth” of music video directing experience. While the music during the movie suits almost anyone (ranging from Elvis, to rock, to hard-rock and rap), how it melds those sounds with its visuals often becomes tedious. The film opens with a pointless bout between two computer generated scorpions fighting in the desert, complete with MK style sound effects. No game though, its just an excuse to show bad film-making ideas during opening credits. From there we have at times eye-jerking visuals to open scenes, or sped-up photography to establish location, or other such nauseous nonsense that almost ruin the banter between the characters.
Fortunately these interludes lessen as the film progresses, and only on one or two other occasions do we get some annoyance like 30 seconds too much of some exterior shot or something. You could easily chop 20 minutes out of this flick and have an even more entertaining action romp. But, as I said, it does get better once you forgive the studio for choosing this director and once Kurt Russell’s character is designated as our token goodie. Beyond that the only other big story no-no is the sudden inclusion of ICE-T at the very end of the flick (with no previous setup) as a mercenary one-man gun platform. Setting aside my misgivings as to the occasional visual style and unrealistic action Woo rip-offs and so on, I was set to, and generally did, enjoy 3000 Miles to Graceland.
Other fun or cool things: * Cortney Cox’s ass. It’s all over this movie. Unfortunately not all at once. If you combined the 70% of it seen in one scene with the 20% seen in another and the 10% seen earlier, you’d have her whole ass. She could keep the thong business going another year alone.
* Christian Slater’s Attitude. It gets him killed early, but it’s the first time we’ve seen him do it in Elvis shades since “True Romance”.
* A dead David Arquette. Period.
* Redheads with bubblegum and bad guy fetishes.
* Kurt Russell getting back to action roots. Shades of Tango and Cash here, only with a slightly more sympathetic character and no Jack Palance.
* Kevin Costner in a high-noon gunfight with a cowboy cop and his Texas high-pursuit car that are straight out of a 70’s flick. Somewhere in the distance a spaghetti western score is whistling.
* Did I mention Cox’s ass?
Well, if any of this sounds good, go see it, watch that bullshit meter, and have fun; but its not worth more than $4, so don’t over-do it.
Reviewed by Doc
Viva Las Vegas! Thangyouverymuch!
I’m wondering if Kurt Russell and Kevin Costner walked away from the set of this movie each day knowing they were starring in a 2-star movie. Not that it’s a bad movie, but it is a bad movie – in a good way. Just turn down your bullshit detector early on, suspend that disbelief, and have fun in that pulpy, Hollywood, high-paid B-movie sort of way. I dunno what I was thinking though, hoping for something more serious from 3000 Miles to Graceland. I mean, this IS a movie about several guys dressed as Elvis robbing a Las Vegas Casino and getting away with it long enough to have an action story. Still, I know Costner’s career could do with the infusion, and several other people seem to be returning from the grave in this flick too.
Quick lowdown on the story; Kurt’s meeting his buddies, including Kevin Costner, Christian Slater and David Arquette, at a roach motel in Nevada for some unknown reason. During his stay he meets Cortney Cox and her thieving son. They screw (Cortney and Kurt only, the son being too busy ripping off Kurt’s wallet), and he admits he’s been in prison. Turns out the five total buds meeting up are there for a heist, and they soon knock down the vault of a Vegas Casino – and about 50 of its guards (they just keep popping up like a slot machine jackpot). After the heist, more people die, and Costner tries to make off with the money to the launderers alone. But Kurt’s not dead, Cortney’s not leaving, her son’s still stealing, and the money keeps changing hands. Along the way we find out Kurt Russell’s got a heart of gold, Kevin Costner’s a murdering bastard, and they’re both the possible illegitimate children of the King himself, Elvis Aaron Presley.
It's unfortunate, though, that the director, a Demian Lichtenstein, felt so self-indulgent as to waste our time and patience as viewers by showing off his obvious “wealth” of music video directing experience. While the music during the movie suits almost anyone (ranging from Elvis, to rock, to hard-rock and rap), how it melds those sounds with its visuals often becomes tedious. The film opens with a pointless bout between two computer generated scorpions fighting in the desert, complete with MK style sound effects. No game though, its just an excuse to show bad film-making ideas during opening credits. From there we have at times eye-jerking visuals to open scenes, or sped-up photography to establish location, or other such nauseous nonsense that almost ruin the banter between the characters.
Fortunately these interludes lessen as the film progresses, and only on one or two other occasions do we get some annoyance like 30 seconds too much of some exterior shot or something. You could easily chop 20 minutes out of this flick and have an even more entertaining action romp. But, as I said, it does get better once you forgive the studio for choosing this director and once Kurt Russell’s character is designated as our token goodie. Beyond that the only other big story no-no is the sudden inclusion of ICE-T at the very end of the flick (with no previous setup) as a mercenary one-man gun platform. Setting aside my misgivings as to the occasional visual style and unrealistic action Woo rip-offs and so on, I was set to, and generally did, enjoy 3000 Miles to Graceland.
Other fun or cool things: * Cortney Cox’s ass. It’s all over this movie. Unfortunately not all at once. If you combined the 70% of it seen in one scene with the 20% seen in another and the 10% seen earlier, you’d have her whole ass. She could keep the thong business going another year alone.
* Christian Slater’s Attitude. It gets him killed early, but it’s the first time we’ve seen him do it in Elvis shades since “True Romance”.
* A dead David Arquette. Period.
* Redheads with bubblegum and bad guy fetishes.
* Kurt Russell getting back to action roots. Shades of Tango and Cash here, only with a slightly more sympathetic character and no Jack Palance.
* Kevin Costner in a high-noon gunfight with a cowboy cop and his Texas high-pursuit car that are straight out of a 70’s flick. Somewhere in the distance a spaghetti western score is whistling.
* Did I mention Cox’s ass?
Well, if any of this sounds good, go see it, watch that bullshit meter, and have fun; but its not worth more than $4, so don’t over-do it.