Personals

[The_Chair]

> > An advert found in the Australian Canberra Times, Personals Section:
> >
> > Wanted a tall well-built woman with good
> > reputation, who can cook frogs
> > legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
> > schia garden, classic music and tal-
> > king without getting too serious.
> >
> > Interested? Then please only read
> > lines 1, 3 and 5; still interested?
> >

[Doc]

>These are actual bloopers from church bulletins...
>
>Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are
>invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
>
>The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would
lend
>him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday
morning.
>
>The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will
>sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
>
>Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
>
>The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church
>basement Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this
>tragedy.
>
>Thursday night Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
>
>A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
>will
>follow.
>
>Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church.
>Please
>use large double door at the side entrance.
>
>Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving
milk
>will please come early.
>
>The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes,
green
>beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
>
>Don't let worry kill you, let the church help.
>
>This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay
an
>egg on the altar.
>
>Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club.
All
>wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.
>
>Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
church.
>So
>ends a friendship that began in their school days.
>
>Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at
Calvary
>Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the
way
>from Africa.
>
>The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they
may
>be seen in the church basement Friday.
>
>Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING
>Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference
>includes meals."
>
>Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious
>pleasure to the congregation.
>
>Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at the Fowlers'. Bring
your
>own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun
time.
>
>During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of
hearing
>a
>good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
>
>The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment,
and
>gracious hostility.
>
>This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from

>the
>Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
>
>"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
those
>things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."