You might be a Wisconsinite...

[Doc]

You might be a Wisconsinite if .....
   
If you define Summer as three months of bad sledding...
If your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar...
If snow tires come standard on all your cars...
If at least 50% of your relatives work on a dairy farm...
If you have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week...
If you can identify a Michigan accent...
If you know what "cow-tipping" is.....
If you learned to drive a tractor before the training wheels were off your
bike...
If "Down South" to you means Chicago...
If traveling coast to coast means going from Superior to Milwaukee...
If the "Big Three" means Miller, Old Milwaukee & PBR...
If a brat is something you eat ...
If you know that Eau Claire is not something you eat.....
If you have no problem spelling Milwaukee..
If you got a passport to go to Minnesota...
If you don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Pabst Blue Ribbon...
If you used to think Deer Season was included as an official school
holiday...
If You know that Gotham is a real city...
If You can actually pronounce and spell Oconomowoc...
If you know what a bubbler is.....
If the snow on your roof in August weighs more than you do...
If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a cow next to your blue
spruce...
If you think there should be a "FIB go home" bumper sticker on every car
north of Madison...
   
If a Friday night out is taking your girlfriend shining for deer...
If you go out for fish fry on every Friday...
If you go to work in a snowsuit in the morning and return home wearing
shorts...
If you tell someone where you are from and they say: 'I thought that was part
of
Canada'...
   
If your idea of the seasons is Winter, Spring and the 4th of July...
If you know how to polka....
If you think that Lutheran and Catholics ARE the major religions.....
If formal wear is a flannel shirt, blue jeans and a baseball cap...
If your children describe their summer vacation out of state as a "trip to Door
County..."
If you have to go to Florida to get a tan in August...
If you define "swimming season" as Labor Day weekend...
If your 4th of July Family Picnic was moved indoors due to frost...
If you know where the city of Waunakee is AND can pronounce it...
If you have more fishing poles than teeth...
If you decided to have a picnic this summer because it fell on a
weekend...

[The_Chair]

>The top 40 things you would NEVER hear a TEXAN say.... ever.... no matter how much they've had to drink, no matter how far from the South they've wandered:

>40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
>
>39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
>
>38. Duct tape won't fix that.
>
>37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
>
>36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
>
>35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
>
>34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
>
>33. You can't feed that to the dog.
>
>32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
>
>31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
>
>30. Wrasslin's fake.
>
>29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
>
>28. We're vegetarians.
>
>27. Do you think my gut is too big?
>
>26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
>
>25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
>
>24. Who's Richard Petty?
>
>23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
>
>22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
>
>21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
>
>20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
>
>19. Trim the fat off that thar steak.
>
>18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
>
>17. The tires on that truck are too big.
>
>16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
>
>15. I've got it all on the C drive.
>
>14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
>
>13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
>
>12. My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
>
>11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
>
>10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
>
>09. Checkmate.
>
>08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
>
>07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
>
>06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
>
>05. I don't have a favorite college team.
>
>04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
>
>03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
>
>02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
>
>01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.

[Doc]

>WISCONSIN DICTIONARY
>
>Hey Dere! C'meer once - you gots to read dis a couple-two-tree words on how
>ta talk like yer from Scansin, hey. It's a humdinger! Sit down witch'er  
>brat an' brewski in yer blaze-orange and,cripes sake, in the spirit of Bart
>and Vince, take a gander, yahhey?
>1. AIN-A-HEY: placed at the end of a profound statement; as in isn't it?"
>2. BART: a Green Bay institution who doesn't need a last name; see"Vince").
>3. BELIEVE-YOU-ME: attached to the beginning or end of a statement,makes it
>more credible; as in," Really!"
>4. BLAZE-ORANGE: what deer hunters and cold-weather Packers fans wear at  
>Lambeau Field. Also a popular color for jail uniforms.
>5. BORN IN A BARN?: a sarcastic question which usually means you left the
>door open or could not correctly differentiate between an alewive and a  
>smelt.
>6. BORROW: used in place of lend,as in, "Could youse borrow me a couple  
>two-tree bucks, yahhey?"
>7. BRAT: a sausage; a Wisconsin tail gate favorite; doesn't have anything
>to do with a spoiled kid.
>8. BUBBLER: to the rest of the world outside Wisconsin's borders,it is
>known as a drinking fountain.
>9. BUDGE: to merge without permission; cut in; as in "Don't you budge in
>line for a brat, I was here first!"
>10. BY: to, near; as in "Let's go by One-Eyed Jack's" or, "She'll come by
>da  house tonight."
>11. CHEDDERHEAD: someone from Wisconsin; see, "Cheesehead."
>12. CHEESEHEAD: someone from Wisconsin; see, "Cheddarhead."
>13. CHEESE CURD: small pieces of fresh cheese that squeak when you bite in  
>to them.
>14. COMEER ONCE: a request for the presence of another Cheddarhead.
>couple-two-tree beers."
>16. CRIPES: a Wisconsin expletive.
>17. CRIPES-SAKE: a mild Wisconsin expletive.
>18. CRIPES-SAKES-ALMIGHTY: a major Wisconsin expletive.
>19. DA: substitute for words beginning with "TH;" as in, "Da guy over dere  
>in da Bears shirt dere."
>20. DAVENPORT: What your mom called 'the sofa'; a couch.
>21. FAIR-TA-MIDDLIN: Not bad or great, just"O.K."
>22. FISH FRY: a Friday night dining ritual in Wisconsin.
>23. FLEET FARM: A Cheddarhead's answer to Bloomingdales.
>24. FROZEN TUNDRA: Lambeau Field.
>25. GEEEZ!: Another Wisconsin expletive.
>26. GOAHEAD: Proceed; as in, "go ahead and back up your car dere."
>27. GOTS: used in place of "have;" as in, "I gots my tickets to watch da  
>Packers play on da FrozenTundra."
>28. GOL-DURN: Another Wisconsin expletive.
>29. HEY: placed at the beginning or end of phrases for emphasis, as in,  
>"Hey, hows 'bout dem Packers?" or "Hows 'bout dem Packers,Hey!"
>30. HOWS-BY-YOU?: a greeting; the same as,"How's Everything?
>31. HUMDINGER: a beauty; as in "dat croppy youse caught up-nort is a real  
>humdinger."
>32. JOHN DEERE: a Cheddarhead's other vehicle.
>33. LEAKER: (n) One who lacks the mental or physical stamina to continue  
>partying.
>35. N-SO?: a word inserted at the end of a statement; (sometimes pronounced
>  as AIN-SO), used as a substitute for "isn't that right?" or Correct?"
>36. OH,YAH: Depending on emphasis, it's either used as acknowledgment (as  
>"That's correct") or skepticism (That's bull!).
>37. PERT-NEER: (sometimes pronounced "PRET-NEAR": in close Proximity; just  
>about.
>38. POLKA: the national dance of Wisconsin.
>39. RUBBERS: protection for your shoes; also known as"G'loshes."
>40. SCANSIN: the state where Cheeseheads are from.
>41. SCHMEAR: a card game; also a term used when someone gets beat in a game
>of Sheepshead.
>42. SHEEPSHEAD: another card game.
>43. SIDE-BY-EACH: used instead of "next to each other."
>44. SKEETER: Wisconsin's state bird.
>45. START WIT ME LAST: to forfeit your turn.
>46. STOP-AND-GO LIGHTS: what everyone else refers to as traffic signals.
>47. TREE: The number between two and four.
>47. UFF-DAH: (from the untranslatable Norwegian phrase) meaning varies with
>  severity of incident-from "Oops" to "Criminey" to words following Oh-!" ;
>  often said when you make a really big "boo-boo" and are in 'deep
>doggy-doo'.
>48. UN-THAW: to defrost or thaw.
>49. WHERE-ABOUTS: locality; proximity; as in, "where-abouts are youse-guys  
>from?"
>50. UP NORT: where Wisconsinites go on vacation.
>51. UP-SIDE-RIGHT: rightside up.
>52. VINCE: the other Green Bay icon who doesn't need a last name for
>instant  recognition; (see "Bart"). Recently, "Brett" and "Reggie" were
>also added to  this category; Mark" was almost in this category, but will
>be leaving for  six to ten years (see'blaze orange'). Then again, maybe
>not!!!!
>53. WIH-SKON'-TSUN: the way you can tell the speaker is not a real
>Wisconsinite.
>54. YAH-HEY: affirmative, but can be added reinforce a request.
>55. YAH-SURE-YOU-BETCHA: yes, you are correct
>56. YOU-BETCHA: affirmative, as in "Yah-hey."
>57. YOUSE: (var."Yoose") pronoun, second person ; plural.
>58. YOOPER: someone from even further up-nort' than you.