>For every guy who ever rolled his pant legs and every girl who ever had
>big hair...
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>An 80's Love Story
>
> I was working part time in a five and dime. My boss was Mr.
> Magee. He was six foot four and full of muscles and walked
> like an Egyptian, but I was happy to be stuck with him. One
> manic Monday, while I was busy working for the weekend, I
> overheard him make a careless whisper.
>
> He told two of my co-workers, Jack and Diane, that I gave
> love a bad name. Well, I got so emotional, baby. I told him
> to say say say what he wants, but don't play games with my
> affection. He told me it was hard for him to say he's sorry
> and not to worry, to be happy. Then he blamed it on the
> rain. He was so out of touch. It just took my breath
> away. I couldn't fight this feeling any longer. I asked
> him "What's love got to do with it?" He told me to get
> outta his store and his dreams and into my car.
>
> So I figured I might as well jump. I cut footloose, went
> home and called my girl, Jenny. (You already know the
> number) She was on the other line with Amanda. They were
> talking about Mickey and how he was so fine. That blew my
> mind! Was she really going out with him? I told her that I
> had just called to say I love her. She told me she had been
> saving all her love for me, but now she was looking for a
> new love - asta la vista, baby. I thought "I can't go for
> that - no can do! Bring me a higher love!" I called up some
> of my old west end girls, hoping that one of them would want
> to get physical all night long (all night). First I called
> Billie Jean - she told me to beat it. I called Rosanna -
> her sister Christian blessed the rains down in Africa and
> then hung up on me. Come on, Eileen! ... no answer. Nobody
> told me there'd be days like these! I was feeling like the
> owner of a lonely heart.
>
> Then, out of the blue, my best friend's girlfriend (she used
> to be mine) Roxanne calls. Yes, the real Roxanne. She told
> me she still hadn't found what she's looking for and that
> she wanted to take on me. I said "I thought you were
> Jessie's girl." She said "Don't you want me? You don't have
> to put on the red light - I'm on my own." What a feeling! I
> had the eye of the tiger. Who was I f-f-f-foolin? Roxanne
> drove me crazy like no one else. She's a beauty! She blinded
> me with science, and weird science at that. There was always
> something there to remind me of her and I just knew that I'd
> have the time of my life.
>
> I wasn't about to la-di-da-di. I jumped in my little red
> Corvette and rocked down to Electric Avenue. I got my mind
> set on her. When I got to her house (in the middle of her
> street) I ran. I rapped on her front door and to this
> rapper's delight, i heard a voice say "Who can it be now?"
> "Here I am, the one that you love", I replied. I let my
> love open the door and was immediately lost in her eyes. I
> felt like a virgin touched for the very first time. She
> loosened her blouse and said "Rock me Amadeus!" Well, I
> felt it was my prerogative to bust a move. I told her "I'll
> tumble for ya!" as I pinned her on the stairs, hungry like
> the wolf.
>
> Just then I felt an invisible touch on my shoulder. "Turn
> around bright eyes!" said a familiar voice. As I did,
> Jessie hit me with a sledgehammer of an uppercut that spun
> me right round like a record. He was hangin' tough and
> continued to roll with it, knocking the wind from beneath my
> wings - broken wings by this time. He rocked me tonight,
> for old time's sake, beating me from head to toe, until my
> true colors were black and blue and blood was spilling from
> my mouth like red, red wine. "You don't owe me money for
> nothing!" he snarled. At this point I was livin' on a
> prayer. I crawled back to my little red Corvette and drove
> home thinking about how my tainted love had cut like a knife
> - how it seems that every rose, truly, has its thorn. No
> longer do I want to know what love is. Love stinks.
>
